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One thing Japanese developers do better then anybody is make completely bodacious video games and I’m SO so glad Bayonetta came into existence just to give me an excuse to use that word in a post. After completing Bayonetta and seeing footage of Platinum Games (Bayonetta’s Developer) Gears of War inspired cover shooter infused with illegal drugs named ‘Vanquish’ their mission statement should be the following.

We vow to make the most insane video games EVER!

At face value Bayonetta is not that hard to describe. Directed by the same man behind Devil May Cry comes an 3D action game where you play as Bayonetta, a witch with extraordinary powers. After reading that last sentence you would think this game would just be your run of the mill action game with levels and bosses with nothing out of the ordinary. RIGHT?

This is a picture of Bayonetta (the player character in Bayonetta) summoning one of  her ultra powerful “hair’ attacks. These moves are brought up as finishers to her foes as a sequence called a “climax” where as the player you have to hammer on the buttons to make the move stronger.

Bayonetta is no joke and this game doesn’t fuck around. It’s crazy and made only for the demented to fully enjoy. If your games need to be ‘cool’ look elsewhere because this game is not cool. Mitch Krpata goes as far as to call Bayonetta ‘embarrassing’. He likes the game (as did I) but this is not the type of game you play when your friends come over to check out your new television.

Bayonetta as a character is completely a mixed bag. Her aesthetics are clearly devised to titillate but there is just something about her that always makes her unattractive. It might be because she is akin to Sarah Palin or maybe it’s because her legs are longer then my entire body and I’m a short dude. I found Bayonetta to be  hot like Noomi Rapace from The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo movie. There is something about her deep inside you find intriguing but she wouldn’t be the woman you would want  holding your hand in the mall on a Saturday afternoon. It’s hard to explain…

What it boils down to is the game is really fun to play. For an action 3D game I would say only God of War 3 has a better combat camera. The battles are parced as “verses” and after every battle you will receive a grade based off how well you handled the combat. This could be an addicting element of the game if you could replay the battles. I liked being told how well I was doing as I progressed though the game. Rather then just getting “money” for completing battles it makes you want to spend that money to get stronger and work towards understanding the combat to earn better ratings. Idealy there would be an ‘action’ game type that would remove all the story elements of the game and allow the player just to replay the action sequences. The cut scenes can all be skipped  in game but it would be a lot of button presses to replay the game doing it all manually.

Brief look at xbox.com shows I beat this game almost three weeks ago. An internal struggle was fought before deciding to write the game. I had a lot of fun with this one and would like to see others play it but but I don’t expect anybody who reads my site would even consider even trying the demo more or less even heard about it up till now. After being unable to finish Devil May Cry 4 (another game that can be really fun) Bayonetta I completed really quickly and laughed many times while playing. Clearly the game is bizarre but sometimes it’s required to go off the rails a little bit to prove to yourself you still got it….or completely losing it…

Note: The game comes with many false endings and took me over 15 hours to complete with much content I didn’t even touch. One playthough no grinding 27 of 50 achievements for 435g.

As a younger man diet was never anything I worried about. Time moves forward and I’ve found a large interest in processed foods, ingredients, and ultimately how deceiving food can be. After watching Food Inc and reading Food Rules that two hour commitment was enough to make one frightened to eat lunch. After reading a blurb about “What You Don’t Know About Orange Juice” was enough for me to be interested in the history and creation of one of my favorite beverages severed cold.

Squeezed by Alissa Hamilton: The book ended up being a lot different then I thought it would be. Going into it I thought (as I’m sure most would) the book would answer the question “Is orange juice good for me”? If they were going to write an entire book about a beverage that would be the first question I would want answered.

By the end this question is not answered, but honestly it’s not a big deal because the author answers it here.

Squeezed is more about the history, psychology, and business behind the orange juice industry. My favorite part of the book was the explanation of the creation of pasteurized juice and how food labels can be so deceiving.  Seriously who has a freaking clue how most food is made and how much garbage can be put into something that is labeled as healthy.

I could explain the book more so if you read the Q&A link and found some of what I’m talking about here interesting the book is for you. Another short read the text is slightly over 200 pages not including timeline, notes, and index. Recommended here’s an excerpt from the Q&A but takes content found in the book.

DEAS: What isn’t straightforward about orange juice?

HAMILTON: It’s a heavily processed product. It’s heavily engineered as well. In the process of pasteurizing, juice is heated and stripped of oxygen, a process called deaeration, so it doesn’t oxidize. Then it’s put in huge storage tanks where it can be kept for upwards of a year. It gets stripped of flavor-providing chemicals, which are volatile. When it’s ready for packaging, companies such as Tropicana hire flavor companies such as Firmenich to engineer flavor packs to make it taste fresh. People think not-from-concentrate is a fresher product, but it also sits in storage for quite a long time.

GROSS……but so good I love OJ so much in the mornings with toast and coffee.

Once again my once strong and valiant Xbox 360 has died a painful death. This time I’m getting the dreaded Three Blinking Rings of Death. Honestly part of this might be my fault or fate telling me to stop being a typical American consumer but I lost two devices yesterday due to failure. It’s been quite the day to say the least and another ‘Irate’ category post will be scribed within the next few days. Regardless I’m at the library leaching free internet on my day off printing off a UPS Ground label to have my 360 repaired again. On my previous post regarding the death of my console I’m still under warranty thus the repair will be free and registering for repair was mostly painless. Failure happened June 22nd and will be in the hands of UPS the same day. Here is the report I filled out for the TDCB Repair Center in Mesquite TX. Some information removed for obvious reasons.

My console is doing the behavior listed here http://support.microsoft.com/kb/907534 (three red blinking rings). Tried all troubleshooting steps listed and I don’t believe it’s an issue with the power supply as the light is green on the power brick when system is powered on and this happens on all power connections in my house. There was a disk in the drive and being unable to open the drive normally I used the method here http://support.microsoft.com/kb/906935 to remove the disk. There has been no modifications to the Xbox 360 and only operated under normal use. I would like to request the system returned has a HDMI port as the console I’m sending in has one included. This is my second repair order (Service Request Number: **********) during Xbox 360 ownership.

Thank You,
vanlandw
*****************
***********************
************

Gamertag: gaming vanlandw
Service Date: 2009/05/06
Serial Number: ************
Product Id: ********************

Regardless I’ll keep everybody in the loop with updates. Now to send my Xbox to UPS, get some food, and go to Vo’s to make sure my 360 Hard Drive isn’t completely fried.

Update 1: I forgot to note that I’m sending the Xbox to the repair center using the same box and shipping materials they returned my previous repaired Xbox. Also I’m using the Print Label feature this time rather then having to wait for a box to be sent to me. Hopefully turn around time won’t be over three weeks like last time.

Update 2: Rather then going directly thought UPS like I did last time I went to an authorized place in Jenison called Aim Mail Center. The gentleman working there was very helpful. Noticed I was having problems with my packing tape and came around the counter to help me. Great customer service.

Today I was also able to test the Hard Drive on my 360 and everything appears to be working  without a problem thankfully.

Update 3: My 360 has arrived in Texas….

MESQUITE, TX, US

06/24/2010

8:48 P.M.

ARRIVAL SCAN

Update 4: My 360 is out to delivery to Microsoft’s repair center…

MESQUITE, TX, US

06/25/2010

9:59 A.M.

OUT FOR DELIVERY

Update 5: Looks like UPS is what is holding up this delivery. My “Rescheduled Delivery Date” has been updated three times so now is listed for June 28th. Things are going bad so far my rough ETA is up again to three weeks best case on the speed of UPS ground shipping. UGH

Update 6: I might have been quick to judge on UPS shipping. Their site now  lists the shipment as recieved at 06/25/2010 7:46p so the shipping turnaround so far is 100% acceptable if Mr. Mesquite TX recieved the shipment on Friday. Repair status at support.xbox.com lists the status still as “waiting for console”.

+1 UPS -1 Microsoft

Update 7:

I would be elated if my system got sent out tomorrow that means I would have it back maybe next Monday/Tuesday for slightly more then a two week downtime. I’ll make sure to keep everybody posted.

Update 8: Xbox sent me a really nice email confirming they received my console and will be sending me  another one right away. Enjoy this poorly photoshopped picture of the message. On my last repair they did not do this and it’s a step that is appreciated. The repair process for Xbox’s under warranty is fairly painless process and this step is a positive for customers who are not as anal as I am. +1 Microsoft

Update 9: June 29th 7:39 AM I received another email from Microsoft

An Xbox 360 console has been shipped to you from our service center.

Regardless of how weird ”An Xbox” sounds it’s nice to know a console is on the way. There is a chance system breakdown to return might be under two weeks. Personally I’m hoping to have it on Friday. So far so good. Watch me get returned a 2005 Xenon version with no HDMI and the shiny DVD drive scratched to shit and with children’s fingerprints on it.

Unlike my last repair Microsoft did go ahead and register my new console. They are returning me a “Xbox 360 Exchange Pro” and I have no idea what that means. The Internet doesn’t really either. If this site is to be believed deciphering the serial number shows my new Xbox was created in China and built in the year 2008. Gives good hope to being returned a HDMI model.

Update 10: 7-1-10 9a – It’s been over two days since Microsoft sent my Xbox back and my tracking status is still…“>>> UPS could not locate the shipment details for your request. Please verify your information and try again later.”

In the email sent they really did mean “It can take several business days for UPS tracking information to be updated online once your console leaves our shipping center.”

After being optimistic about return before the holiday there is no chance it comes before Friday. Best case next Tuesday.

Update 11: Yup next Tuesday at best sadly. My 360 hasn’t left Mesquite yet. Today at 12:52p the “Origin Scan” was placed. The emails sent from Microsoft are slightly misleading. That was over two days from the email sent saying my console has “shipped”. Also this is coming by ground so it will be about 2.5 weeks turn around. I’d rather them just email when the 360 has truthfully been shipped rather sitting somewhere for a few days. Assholes…

Update 12: Email sent today 7/3 from Xbox Live…

This mail is confirmation that your subscription to 1 Month for $1 has been cancelled on Saturday, July 03, 2010.

Given the membership is worthless without a console this message went straight to the trash. Assholes…

Update 13: Checking shipping status at UPS shows my 360 will be sitting in a warehouse in Wyoming MI for the next three days. I believe UPS doesn’t ship on Saturdays and they observe the 4th holiday on Monday. Thankfully it’s a busy weekend but it came REALLY close to getting my console returned before the holiday. Oh well I’ll let everybody know Tuesday how the return goes.

Update 14: As expected the UPS delivery came at 2:20pm July 6th 2010. Turnaround time from failure to return was June 20th – July 6th. If it wasn’t for the holiday worst case it would have been a day shorter. Faster then my last repair but that counted delivery of a box to send the console in that I wouldn’t suggest anybody to do. Make sure to just use any old box and use the free printing label option to make the repair time faster.

The return came with slightly different literature the second time around. Non personalized letter regarding admin functions (warranty registration, extended service contract). They also said they were sorry for the inconvenience of having to send the 360 in for repair. This was all handled in three languages. They also continue to give you a free month of XBL service that I will use when Halo Reach comes out (unless somebody wants to play something online but I don’t expect that to happen in the summer).

In two languages was a picture tutorial/reminder to reconnect the controller to the console.  In three languages a reminder regarding downloaded content due to the new serial number assigned to the console (this being my third 360 in 16 months).

This newest console was returned again with HDMI support (sorry Vo) and is again clearly a refurbished system. There are scratches on the body and wear along the hard drive chassis. I was also able to find some sticky residue and paper on the console as well. The power button and disk eject button are very firm and don’t feel as used as my first returned system. Overall this seems to be an upgrade. Even the smell is better.

Now that the console is returned I’m going to spend a few hours getting my downloaded content reauthorized and using the system for a little bit. I’ll update the post later today with hopefully final thoughts.

Update 15: One thing I would like to mention is how horrible reauthorizing your downloadable content is on a new console. It’s a terrible process. On my 360 I’ve downloaded 118 items, some that I want to keep some that I’ve already deleted. There is no way to reset this where it only auths the content that is on the HD or where the download list shows what you have. So for all 118 items you have to review if you have it still on your xbox or if you either need to redownload it or ignore it.  This process took forever and I ended up downloading items I didn’t want. Also you can’t queue up over 30 items as once so it needs to be baby sat. Doesn’t help how unresponsive the 360 menus are.

After getting the cords setup and using the power button for the first time the response on the button iss a little mushy. Seems that is to be expected on some systems but my previous two were not that way. The disk drive that came with the system seems to be the “BENQ VAD6038″ that at this point cannot be flashed or used for mods. The system seems very similar to my previous xbox’s I don’t believe it’s any different as the power adapter I’ve had since my first xbox works. Last night I played a few hours of Mass Effect 2 with no problems. The system appears to be quieter but I haven’t tried a game that was running off the disk yet.

At this point I’m going to call this saga closed.Overall really the process was rather painless but still not something I would hope anybody to have to deal with. With the amount of money invested into platform it can be stressful knowing the brain of the operation is sitting in southern Texas being repaired. Any questions on the repair process let me know.

A little late posting about the Halo Reach multiplayer beta as it closed a series of weeks ago but I wanted to get some stats posted before Bungie pulls them down. Thankfully I was able to play a few solid evenings with friends before the beta ended and after missing the Halo 3 beta it was a pleasure to partipicate and get some pre-release time with the game.

I was able to play 24 invasion mode games (11 victories Total Time Played: 00d 03h 45m), one arena mode game (1 victory Total Time Played: 00d 00h 12m), and 16 standard games (Grab Bag/Free for All/Network  Test 1 9 victories Total Time Played: 00d 03h 45m).

I am UNSC

My player stats leave a bit to be desired. 387 kills/397 deaths/158 assists. Playing invasion matches in partictuar I felt that the death ratio was way to high in the game. Many of the modes are made to play franticly thus to win sometimes you have to throw yourself into situations tactiaclly that might not be intelligent. Your spartan is built to die. Best guess my average life was never over 60 seconds.

Conditioning to console mulitplayer could be in play for my inability to dominate. In Halo 3 when you die and the wait to respawn is way longer then in the Reach beta. Death is even a more active experience in Reach where at times you can pick your respawn point and your loadout. My favorite addtion is a carryover from co-op campaign where you can respawn at party member. Sadly this comes with a downside of if your friend if flying in the air and you spawn next to them you could possibly fall crashing to the ground. About five of my 397 deaths were accounted to this.

Most of the new addtions I found did not break the Halo experience. Aside from the strength of grenades (way to powerful) all the armor abilities felt fair and none of the new weapons felt over powered. As a Halo sceptic to Halo avocate Reach should be a fantastic game and might be the only game released in 2010 worth $59.99 plus 6% Michigan sales tax.

Note: Bungie has increasingly becoming less transparent. Their Bungie Weekly Update expecially the ones after the beta I found interesting to see how open they were regarding impending changes to the game come Fall. Also the Bungie Podcast is a good listen if you have any interest for a small insiders view to the development process. Both are worth checking out and is a small commitment. The weekly update clearly comes weekly and the podcast comes out I found about once a month.

Peggle came on my radar due to seeing browndr consistently on Xbox Live playing this game. After discussion I came to find it was his mother-in-law who was actually logging all the time. He did vouch that the game was fun so after finding out a Valve themed version of the game called Peggle Extreme was free on Steam I decided it was time to check the game out.

Peggle is about as casual as gaming comes. You hurl balls at dots scoring points to progress to the next puzzle. Peggle Extreme is more or less a glorified demo with only 10 levels. Upon launching and exiting the game you are nagged to upgrade to a version with more levels and features but for free what can you expect.

The game runs flawlessly on my EEEPC at 1024×600 resolution. So far I played though the brief adventure mode scoring 4,111,000 points.

The game is fun and addicting. There are versions available on almost every platform imaginable and comes recommended. At some point I plan on getting a full version of the game but I’m not sure on what platform. On my PC I could play everywhere but the 360 version would be nice too.

Note: Insult Swordfighting has a great post advocating games like Peggle over latest and greatest AAA titles.

I am the target audience for this game. An older gamer with slightly more free time and patience then the typical aging gamer who’s looking for a fresh take on the FPS experience. Following the “Smart Gaming” scene Far Cry 2 is another critical darling along the lines of Braid and any Jason Rohrer game where everybody had an opinion good or bad. For awhile I’ve been meaning to pick an avatar and head to modern day East Africa and kill people for diamonds but my first copy was stolen during shipping thus it wasn’t up till now I’ve been able to find another good price on the game.

The aspects I enjoyed most about Far Cry 2 was in the areas of game design where there was a conscious effort to change aspects of shooters where innovation was stagnant. In any game where you play as a human it’s just illogical for your character to be a bullet sponge. Since Halo 2 and 100% regenerative health games like Call of Duty have taken an armor ability carried it over to the everyday soldier. For keeping the pacing of a game swift recovering from wounds in seconds might be cool but for everybody to be like Wolverine just doesn’t make any sense. How damage is handled in shooters is something I’ve wanted changed for along time.

Far Cry 2 to a degree has regenerative health but after receiving enough damage your character will be “wounded” and need to patch himself up or you will die. This idea alone is welcome. It bothers me when a human character can be shot millions of times and there isn’t the slightest consequence. Snake Eater tried “proper” healing but the menus were so slow it became a full time job keeping Snake moving. In Far Cry 2 this is done with a single button but it can impact combat.

Another thing to watch out for is jamming weapons. Almost all shooters have weapons ALWAYS work how they are suppose to. Guns shoot exactly the same time every time, and reload in the same amount off time and show the same reload animation every reload. I believe this is due to multiplayer balancing but sadly that  has carried over into campaign. Far Cry 2 introduces weapons that will misfire. Weapons that are purchased at the store and maintained well won’t misfire as much but pick up a gun from a dead enemy is a chance you shouldn’t take lightly.

Far Cry 2 is a game about killing tons of enemies, completing missions from dedicated drops, and performing a few mundane tasks given to you from horrible people and completed by a horrible person. Cars will break down and need to be repaired. Your body has contracted a deadly disease and needs pills routinely at the worst times possible. Cell tower assassination missions remind me of dating in Grand Theft Auto 4. You don’t have to do it but you will want to. The “I’ll get to it when I can get to it” thought of game design is here in full. There is a token achievement for doing all them.

As with any game the good comes the bad. Most of your time is spent traveling from one area to the next. Between these areas will be random armed cars trying to kill you. After that you will hit a check point where you will want to try to bypass it because you have killed so many guys but mostly fail and end up having to kill everybody in an more inconvenient manor. This whole game is killing. Everybody wants to kill you. Screw with the guys in the safe zone they want to kill you every single one of them. On sight 99% of people in the game want you dead instantly. Enemy AI goes from brilliant to horrible to frustrating to exhilarating. Some time just getting to the mission area one guy will hardly see you though  high grass, wake up everybody and then everybody wants you dead. I preferred playing most situations with the stealth approach with silenced weapons. 85% of the time some random guy would see me and totally ruin my plan. When my plan worked though it’s a damn good feeling. Finishing an objective without being spotted is great.

Completion Stats: These stats are from the last save point before you make your final “choice”. After that part the game can be completed after killing maybe five dudes and going up a few hills. I played as the character “Hakim Echebbi” because I found him reserved and slightly handsome. Played on Normal difficulty and earned 520 gamer score.

Game completed: 96% (I beat it?)
Main missions done: 29/32 (I can’t imagine I missed any who knows)
Buddy missions done: 12/12
Side missions done: 20/40
Underground missions done: 5
Buddies met: 9
Buddies deceased: 6
Buddies abandoned: 1 (due to glitch I had to save him like four times and kept dying and ran out of healing shit)
Buddy rescues: 11
Best buddy: nobody (had two during the course of the game)
Diamonds found: 737 (I found about 100 of the random 221 briefcases)
Current diamonds: 495
Weapons bought: 7
Accuracy upgrades bought: 5
Reliability upgrades bought: 5
Repair upgrades bought: 0
Ammo upgrades bought: 6
Favorite primary weapon: MP-5
Favorite secondary weapon: 6P9
Favorite special weapon: M-249 (must work off bullets fired I used either a launcher or a dart gun 99% of the time)
Total shots fired: 21241
Shot accuracy: 29%
Wounds healed: 180
Total time played: 24:08:57
Total game days: 15
Distance walked: 129km
Distance driven: 165km
Distance swam: 1km

Of all the statistics this game doesn’t keep is the amount of casualties . My estimate I would say over 5,000.

In the end I hope more games take the successful parts of Far Cry 2 and expand rather then doing Call of Duty/Halo over and over again on the console. This post could go a lot longer discussing more of the various wins and losses of the game but this is enough. Undecim: 3

Note: If there is any interest in this game but you don’t feel like actually playing it I would HIGHLY suggest to check out Ben Abraham’s Permanent Death series. He chronicles playing the game where he will quit playing when he dies thus no continues or loading from a save game. You die your dead game 100% over. The PDF is beautiful and I would buy printout of it if I could it’s that cool of an idea. Also Clint Hocking (FC2 Creative Director) has a great game design blog about the game in his archives and his GDC talks are interesting reads too.

**SPOILER FREE**

More then any form of media ever produced 24 has been just a gigantic part of my life. For close to ten years, nearly a third of my existence, I’ve watched, dissected and played the part of one the most non aggressive fan boys of all time. 24 was a show that was made for me. On my path the thrills and emotions throughout eight seasons are ones I’ll never experience personally. Though the perfect episodes to the shitty filler episodes it’s been a long ride that all came to an end today.

Minus all emotional ties I don’t foresee a fictional character ever being better then Jack Bauer. Built as a cumulation of the great action characters of the 80′s and 90′s regardless of all the bad he did the good out weighted it. We rooted for him when in all honestly we almost shouldn’t have. For the good of the country somebody had to cross a line and he was written as the thankless hero something I’m sure almost anybody could identify working in today’s marketplace.

Today was the last new episode of 24 as we know it. Today brought back many memories of season finales past. Parties, pizza, booze, excitement, brotherhood, vanhood, theories, drama, death, and the future. Today after a long day of work and hot weather I geared up for my own personal 24 party with two 24oz’s of Bud, a slightly unhealthy dinner and me and Tepper watched the final two hours. By 8pm I was honestly as excited as I ever was. After a strong series of good episodes after a weak series of bad episodes I had to find out how everything was going to end. Retribution must be fulfilled. For the last few weeks I’ve been thinking heavily to how the show was going to spend it’s final hours.

In the end like most finales I’m not sure how I feel about everything. Stories were completed, emotions were spent, and sweet slumber was teased. On the final seconds I did find myself emotional but for all the wrong reasons. On my couch was an empty pint of beer with all the posiblities of the world ahead of me. Where 24 ended was far from where it started but my heart told me everything was for the good mirroring the narrative. I did something I haven’t done in ages and was something I did after every season. I smoked a cigarette. Slightly intoxicated but ahold of myself I took a walk around the block and ended up in front of the church around the corner of my house and looked at the american flag and for a second just thought about what 24 ending meant.

It’s time in more ways then one.

No other form of media has ever given me as much as 24 has. It wasn’t much but as all forms of entertainment these days feel built to fight for your attention and your money this show was a conduit if only for a time that gave me more. Though the bauercount years, to going out with friends to the bar after the episodes and the friendships that were earned and strengthened though the show 24 was my Twin Peaks. Many people over time have dropped off the “Bauer Power Hour” as the show quality to a degree dropped but I still feel aside from a few programs nothing else on television even came close to what 24 was doing. The show to me was a natural progression from the 80′s action movies I loved growing up to a modern day explosion drama.

In the future I might discuss season 8 and the show in length but I doubt it. Weekly episodes are over and there is nowhere to go but forward. My tentative plans is to do one final watch of all seasons now knowing the ending then put the show to rest. In the future time permitting for all parties I would love to put up a completed archived bauercount.com.

My thanks go to the 24 staff. The first five seasons I would absolutely recommend to anybody on the planet as borderline perfect television. At this point I would still consider 24 my favorite show of all time and don’t foresee that ever being surpassed. For me the clock keeps ticking.

I’m going to watch the first episode now.