Field report request

By: Burgetta for burgetta.wordpress.com

I think the biggest problem I have with Battlefield 3 is that it was made well known this game was to “compete with Call of Duty.”  I played previous Battlefield entries, and they were good.  They weren’t great, but they were fun shooters (for the most part).  They were a change of pace from Call of Duty.  Since you claimed to want to “compete with Call of Duty,” I now have no choice but to judge your game against the Call of Duty series; before they were two separate franchises, each with their own bright spots and flaws, but separate franchises.  Your game is not as good as Call of Duty.  I understand you probably weren’t trying to make a CoD clone, but they definitely play much better.  They are fast, they are fun, and they are challenging. The controls are tight, and for the most part, this is key, everything works.  Your game is almost completely devoid of any action at all for long stretches.  Spawns often require you to run a ridiculous distance to an objective.  These are 2 things that do not add up to a “fast and fun” gaming experience.  As far as your game being challenging, I find the hardest part is to make it from point A to point B without being sniped from a rock or a window.  Nevermind getting kills, or capturing objectives, you can’t even get to them.  This is probably the number 1 biggest problem I have.  It is the exact opposite of fun.  Your game is being dragged down immeasurably by those who select the sniper class, then find a spot and sit there.  Why would they move?  There is absolutely no penalty at all for camping.  The killcams are a joke.  I have long held the belief that there should be much harsher penalties for play like a bitch in this manner, or AT LEAST a separate game type where camping is not an option.  If you do not move from where you are within a set amount of time, say 10 seconds tops, you die.  Good idea, right?  I’m sure you will fuck it up.  Battlefield’s controls are far less responsive than that of CoD, I would even say they are muddy.  CoD has it’s moments, but for the most part they work.  Your game was and is horribly broken.  You want to compete with Call of Duty you say.  You release an embarrassingly bad beta, and a game that requires a 2GB patch to play.  2GB?  2GB.  There is also another somewhat sizable patch I have not yet downloaded, and never will.  People paid you real actual money for your game, and you weighed down their hard drives with 3GB worth of patches, because you chose to release a game that didn’t fucking work.  Brilliant.  Fuck you.

“You have an opinion on Battlefield 3™. And we’re listening. Your feedback will help shape the future of the game. Take the Survey.”

Another new Google offering and a new icon that looks like it was ripped from a game. First it was Google Chrome now it’s Google Drive. One of their graphic designers at 1600 Amphitheatre Parkway must be gamer. 

For people who haven’t played the games Abstergo Industries is evil.

Battlefield 3 – Mission Failed

Inception – Trailer Sound

I cannot be alone in this. The sound of the Reapers from Mass Effect 3 reminded me of the Mission Failed sound from Battlefield 3 that in turn reminded me of the sound from the Inception Trailer. Just an never ending circle of bbbrrrooonnngggg!

When I finally got a chance to sit down with said title I went back and did a Save File Transfer of ME2 into ME3. It’s alarming I spent so much time with my ugly male renegade Shepard. He’s also a complete asshole and has a thing for aliens. Note: While galavanting though the galaxy he’s also had brief “interludes” with a Consort and a Criminal Biotic.

The next step on the import is confirming your appearance and of course I ran into this…

Since I’m taking screenshots with a HP Touchpad the above says “Mass Effect 3 cannot successfully determine the custom face code used by this imported save game. Please update your character’s appearance”.

4243 Posts 62,059 Views looks like I’m not alone.

Since I’m over character creators from this point I decided to just roll with default Shepard. Most of the best Mass Effect videos on the internet just use default Shepard it seems right morphing “my” Shepard in with everyone else and since I paid top dollar to get this game on release I’m not waiting for the patch.

When it’s all said and done all that matters is somebody should buy me a capture card.

…ship Madden NFL 12 instead.

Per Newegg Customer Support:

We’re contacting you today regarding your recent purchase of the Mass Effect 3 Xbox 360 game. It appears there may have been an error when fulfilling and shipping your order. We’ve received reports that some customers may have received Madden NFL 2012 Xbox 360 instead of the intended product.

Just laugh you know you want to.

Had to bust out the N64 this weekend and stumbled upon my Playstation.

Pokémon, Mankind, Stone Cold Steve Austin, WWF, Windows 95, Tanqueray, Homer Simpson, Britney Spears, Teletubbies, Brahma Bull

Not really sure what happened here but there is enough Wikipedia links above to occupy till my crimes are forgotten.

Just hideous…

No two words…

EL SHADDAI

No two words have ever been uttered that carry the same weight and gravity since mankind learned to speak.

Define EL SHADDAI. What does it even mean? These are pertinent questions, however one does not just simply “define” EL SHADDAI. To think EL SHADDAI can be confined to any single definition is ignorant and the ultimate act of mankind’s hubris. One must take necessary caution even trying comprehend the totality in culture that is SHADDAI.

Exhibit One: Amy Grant – EL SHADDAI. The linked video contains a beautiful Contemporary Christian song that is the perfect track for a car full of drunk adult middle class white males. The video description demands “watch and please add comment and rate” but goes all scumbag and disables comments. Is this the true message EL SHADDAI whats to give? El-Elyon Na Adonai for sure.

Exhibit Two:

El Shaddai: Ascension of the Metatron is an action video game for the PlayStation 3 and Xbox 360 video game consoles. It is developed and published by Ignition Entertainment. The development is led by Takeyasu Sawaki, who was a character designer in Devil May Cry and Ōkami.  The game was released on April 28, 2011 in Japan, on August 16, 2011 in North America, and on September 9, 2011 in Europe. [1]

1.^The above was directly lifted from Wikipedia.

In all seriousness El Shaddai is a Japanese game made by lunatics and everybody should at least check out the first couple levels because of how crazy it is. That’s what El Shaddai means to me.

Note: This post was adapted from a draft from burgetta.

Note Two: Burgetta has unleashed his vastly superior post.