Ef You Treyarch...

Vanberge’s Bachelor Party pt.4

The image to the left is about the only picture I could truely find to describe this weekend. Vanberge’s Bachelor party went about as well as I could ever imagine and brought maybe the best man-weekend ever. As everybody already read from pt.1 pt.2 and pt.3 this weekend was setup as the ultimate male experience. NO WOMEN ALLOWED, the brews flowed generiously, and money was no object. This was a weekend centered around vanberge….for VANBERGE! There is a lot to cover and I’m honestly not even going to attempt to do so.

The festivities started with everybody showing up. After much doubt r*********e did fully participate in the to the exent of his ability. Also Payner was able to attend thus making this weekend even more amazing. The first thing we did was consume mass brews, played knockout matches and attacked Mongolian Barbeque. After getting obliterated by rain we checked out the 24 inch iMacs at the Woodland Apple Store. While there I decided the new widescreen iPods should be made out of titanium like the new iPod Nano’s then I would almost upgrade.

Next up was Jackass 2: The Movie. Personally I laughed at pretty much everything in that movie. After the movie was more brews/cigars then I stayed up the latest watching edited Equilibrium on FX while Tom and Payner slumbered.

The next morning we attended paintball at Mayhem Sportz and litterly destroyed everything we could see. In the end we ended up with 9 participants and it was a blast. Sadly I ended up with the worst rental paintball gun known to man. After shooting a few balls it would just totally jam and I would have to take cover and unjam. Team Vanhood was pretty aggressive but everybody played well. Having a one-on-one hand holding battle with r*********e was just utterly amazing.

After showers we battled tornados and traveled up to the casino. The weather was pretty relentless and we made awful time but we made it safe and got to our hotel. Seven grown men after eating two buffets in 24 hours in one room can prove to be quite interesting (and i will prove that in a little bit) but the room was about perfect. Extra blankets and the “floor gets a pillow” rule really made it worth getting one room.

Sadly the casino didn’t go as well….for me at least. The slots handed me my own ass on a platter. I lost tons of money and pretty much hated myself. We did have some winners but really next time I go I’m never spending a dime on a slot. The buffet as the casino was amazing though. I ate mac/cheese, mint cake, and tons of other amazing fried goodness. If I didn’t blow all my money I would have purchased a few more white ru*sian’s for me and vanberge! :-(

After the casino everybody was pretty pooped so we had a drink or two and slumbered. The next morning was INSANITY. I won’t go into any detail but please visit the links below. Honestly it’s kinda “SFW” but I wouldn’t recommend it.

Vanberge Farting mp3′s
Vanberge Farting Remixed mp3′s

Those mp3 files maybe the best thing I’ve ever created. For a prime listening experience I would recommend downloading every file and putting them into their own iTunes Playlist and finding your own personal way of enjoyment. I enjoy listening to them one by one but the mix is my favorite. Also make sure to peep the album art on the remixes :-)

After a fine Continental Breakfast provided by the hotel we brb’ed Mt. Pleasant and came back to Grand Rapids, returned the rental Explorer to watch the Lions get obliterated.

Clearly this was an amazing time. I hardly even touched the surface about this weekend. This was just a little tast for those who didn’t get to experience the sheer maleness/vanhood that took place. Hopefully before the end of the week we should have some video footage of paintball. Also read jja’s post!

Link: Vanberge’s Pictures

Link: Flo’s Pictures

Category: General, Humor


7 Responses

  1. Megan says:

    A truly epic post. Vanberge is GETTING MARRIED.

  2. vanberge says:

    i have listened to each of these mp3′s at least 30 times.

    i cannot stop laughing at them. that morning probably stands alone as the funniest thing to ever take place in my entire life.

    i love where vanlandw laughs… thats so funny.

  3. mickeyvb says:

    LMAO…. I don’t know what it is about flatulence that brings mirth to all vans, and even non-van males… King Van lauds the apparent ‘control’ squeezing these out, and chuckled merrily as everyone ‘burst’ into laughter immediately afterwards…. Surprising that none of the groans regarding the odiferous nature of them were recorded as they ‘blossomed’…

  4. Kramer says:

    That looked extremely epic. I wish I could have made it.

  5. vanlandw says:

    I’m so happy mickeyVB found those files humorous….it makes me just laugh knowing he listened to them lol.

    And yes kramer it was pretty damn fun but we’ll see you in a few weeks so it should be all good :-*

  6. bun says:

    i love vanberge. :)

  7. [...] This shot is from vanberge’s bachelor party. I just think it’s funny how much technology is just sitting in that one shot. Three laptops, a GPS, routers, modems, iPod cords, and remotes. Just insanity. To the left is even more…. [...]

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