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Crazy Sexy Mentally Deranged – Bayonetta – 2010

One thing Japanese developers do better then anybody is make completely bodacious video games and I’m SO so glad Bayonetta came into existence just to give me an excuse to use that word in a post. After completing Bayonetta and seeing footage of Platinum Games (Bayonetta’s Developer) Gears of War inspired cover shooter infused with illegal drugs named ‘Vanquish’ their mission statement should be the following.

We vow to make the most insane video games EVER!

At face value Bayonetta is not that hard to describe. Directed by the same man behind Devil May Cry comes an 3D action game where you play as Bayonetta, a witch with extraordinary powers. After reading that last sentence you would think this game would just be your run of the mill action game with levels and bosses with nothing out of the ordinary. RIGHT?

This is a picture of Bayonetta (the player character in Bayonetta) summoning one of  her ultra powerful “hair’ attacks. These moves are brought up as finishers to her foes as a sequence called a “climax” where as the player you have to hammer on the buttons to make the move stronger.

Bayonetta is no joke and this game doesn’t fuck around. It’s crazy and made only for the demented to fully enjoy. If your games need to be ‘cool’ look elsewhere because this game is not cool. Mitch Krpata goes as far as to call Bayonetta ‘embarrassing’. He likes the game (as did I) but this is not the type of game you play when your friends come over to check out your new television.

Bayonetta as a character is completely a mixed bag. Her aesthetics are clearly devised to titillate but there is just something about her that always makes her unattractive. It might be because she is akin to Sarah Palin or maybe it’s because her legs are longer then my entire body and I’m a short dude. I found Bayonetta to be  hot like Noomi Rapace from The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo movie. There is something about her deep inside you find intriguing but she wouldn’t be the woman you would want  holding your hand in the mall on a Saturday afternoon. It’s hard to explain…

What it boils down to is the game is really fun to play. For an action 3D game I would say only God of War 3 has a better combat camera. The battles are parced as “verses” and after every battle you will receive a grade based off how well you handled the combat. This could be an addicting element of the game if you could replay the battles. I liked being told how well I was doing as I progressed though the game. Rather then just getting “money” for completing battles it makes you want to spend that money to get stronger and work towards understanding the combat to earn better ratings. Idealy there would be an ‘action’ game type that would remove all the story elements of the game and allow the player just to replay the action sequences. The cut scenes can all be skipped  in game but it would be a lot of button presses to replay the game doing it all manually.

Brief look at xbox.com shows I beat this game almost three weeks ago. An internal struggle was fought before deciding to write the game. I had a lot of fun with this one and would like to see others play it but but I don’t expect anybody who reads my site would even consider even trying the demo more or less even heard about it up till now. After being unable to finish Devil May Cry 4 (another game that can be really fun) Bayonetta I completed really quickly and laughed many times while playing. Clearly the game is bizarre but sometimes it’s required to go off the rails a little bit to prove to yourself you still got it….or completely losing it…

Note: The game comes with many false endings and took me over 15 hours to complete with much content I didn’t even touch. One playthough no grinding 27 of 50 achievements for 435g.

Category: Video Games

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  1. [...] comparison to Bayonetta (PlatinumGames last title) don’t worry about playing this one with friends around. Vanquish is [...]

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