Ef You Treyarch...

Uncharted: Fillion’s Fortune – Uncharted: Drake’s Fortune – 2007

While I wait for my Xbox 360 to be returned from the grave I was struggling on finding something I felt like playing  on any other platform. When my 360 bit a bullet I was about three hours into Mass Effect 2 and I REALLY wanted to continue playing Mass Effect 2. For about eight days I didn’t touch a video game and it was fantastic as I was able to spend some time doing other hobbies and activities.

While at work at Thursday and having just a horrible day all around I was mentally thinking about fleeing, hiding and playing video games all night. Thinking about what games I already own nothing sounded like fun and had a rare retail bug and decided “ef it”. My mind was made up and I was going to buy a new game <gasp> not on sale.

The first game that came to mind for reasons I’ll never be able to decipher was Uncharted: Fillion’s Fortune.

Shit, I mean “Uncharted: Drake’s Fortune“.

To get this out of the way the player character of the game (Nathan “Nate” Drake) looks, sounds and is clearly inspired by Nathan Fillion somehow. Hell they share the same first name and I’m not alone in this deduction. Nathan Drake feels just like Malcolm Reynolds without having any tough guy qualities or notable skills and is written to be WAY too likable.

All the while mowing down countless human lives like a serial killer. Again I’m not alone in this deduction.

The non-playable cut scenes are well put together and the game’s strongest point. Drake and his token love interest (had to Google the name here I couldn’t even remember) Emily do have strong chemistry and you can genuinely tell in the game the actors were in the same room and that is a rarity in video game voice acting I’m sure.  On the disk there are “making of” videos that show how they filmed the motion capture (example here).

Completion stats for anybody interested. Took me 9 Hours 10 Minutes per my save game time to finish the game on “Hard” difficulty and was able to find 40 of 60 “Treasures” and earn 660 of 1000 “Medal Points”. After taking 10 mins and grinding a series of easy silver level trophies in the end I earned 74% of the trophies (37 of 48).

Uncharted is a game that is victim of needing to give the player something to do. An adventure game finding treasure and searching ruins with limited to no action just isn’t going to sell the units needed to make such a beautiful well acted game. Thus Mr. Nathan “Fillion” Drake became a sharpshooting mass murdering nice guy and Uncharted became Pitfall with Bullets. This I’m not saying is a bad thing I beat the game in two five hour sittings.

I’m too old for this shit. Undecim: 2

Update: (This update is bullshit I wrote this before even saving a draft) After doing some research on Drake apparently he’s based partially on Johnny Knoxville.

I also wanted to note that the “Everyman” trend in video games protagonists  is getting frustrating. Nolan North (VA f/ Drake and the guy from Shadow Complex ect) has been behind many of these characters that I ultimately end up disliking. North does good work but devs need to stop having “everymen” have the ability to kill countless people and overcome countless impossible odds. It’s a trait I don’t identify with behind the barrel of a gun in games for some reason. SOMETHING needs to set you apart from everybody else. Gordon Freeman is a theoretical physicist and has the hazard suit. Drake has a cute smile and a stylish pair of jeans….and apparently the abilty to absorb 300 bullets over the course of his adventure in paradise.

I believe my thoughts in regards to this trend and Uncharted is the rate of enemy encounters. If Uncharted was a three hour game and had less encounters more the action would feel warranted. On the flip side if the game was about fishing treasure from the bottom of the ocean with an appraisal mini-game in between I would complain the game is boring and needs more shooting.

Update 2: (A real one) I forgot to mention I have no idea how this game only got a “T” rating from the ESRB. 90% of the game you are violently using firearms directly upon human beings with blood coming from all hits. Also characters will say “god damn” and “shit” and there is smoking. I guess limbs must be flying and the “F” word must be said at least once to earn “M”. I guess Drake is so charming the ESRB folks decided to let him slide.

Update 3: Yahtzee says everything else I forgot to mention here.

Category: Video Games


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