Ef You Treyarch...

Live PG-13 and Die Hard

Today I totally caved and decided to see Live Free and Die Hard. After all the Rating Controversy I was fully prepared to boycott the movie for being released as a PG-13 film when all the previous installments were rated R. Now I’m fully aware a movie a movie can be good minus a R rating but come on this John McClane. Mr. Yippee-ki-yay, chain smoking, boosehound, ass kicker, and true brother in arms of Jack Bauer. Does one of the best Anti-Hero’s make a hero’s leap into 2007 or falter in a toned down for a wider audience pile of motherfuuuu?

First a story about my trip to the theater. My original thought on seeing the movie was I have free passes for Celebration Woodland. Vanbergs came home from Hart so we decided to go see the movie for free. The internet said there was a showing for early afternoon so we drove to Woodland. Upon arrival to the theater a prepubescent woman meets us at the locked doors saying the theater is closed till 5pm. Aghast I ask her why the theater is closed even though show times are on the web. Her answer was the worst answer I could ever imagine…

vanlandw: “Why are you guys closed?”
younglady: “I don’t know.”

How this woman had no idea why her place of business was closed I will never understand. Regardless we left the mall and went to Knapp’s Corner and paid 6 dollars to see the movie.

Back to the movie. First thing that has to be noted is that there is NO WAY they went into production aiming for a PG-13 raiting. For anybody paying any sort of attention you can see the vocal overdubbing is rampant in this movie and it is highly distracting. The inevitable unrated DVD I can imagine is going to have a lot more cussing and different dialog. For the action it’s apparent it was cut for violence and gore. Some shots cut away WAY to quick and one *grinder* sequence is way to tame. The movie has action, but no violence.

Speaking of action I have to admit parts are awfully impressive. You can tell there is minimal special effects and personally that was my favorite part of the movie. The style of action was right up my alley. Cars take a beating, brass is flying, semi’s are shot up, and objects are blown up. Personally maybe another shootout or two would have been nice but overall the gun play was on par with any recent 24 offerings.

Speaking of 24 whoever wrote this movie must have really liked the show. Many storyline elements seems very similar to recent seasons of 24. The terrorists in this movie are so damn crafty they pretty much ended up taking EVERYTHING POSSIBLE OUT.

In a matter of seconds throughout the course of Live Free and Die Hard terrorists were able to do the following tasks:

  • Find pretty much anybody on the planet
  • Mess up an entire city and their traffic lights causing hundreds of accidents
  • Have control of any governmental communication frequency
  • Change traffic direction lights to divert traffic to their benefit in attempts to kill McClane
  • Change direction of all eastern coast natural gas pipes to the location of McClane causing a gigantic explosion
  • Disrupt wall street
  • Take out every cell phone
  • Take over every television station in the country
  • Take out power to at least a fourth of the country
  • Get in instant contact with a F16 fighter jet pilot to attack McClane

The thing is I’m sure I’m missing some but my main point is done using COMPUTERS. It wasn’t like they really had anybody on site making these changes. All the techoblabble was beyond anything 24 ever done and was just too much for me. The tech elements in this movie are going to age as well as they did in Hackers.

Regardless I could analyze this movie to death but those were the main points I wanted to address. Live Free and Die Hard felt like a side story of the John McClane storyline rather then a full Die Hard movie. If your itching for some action go check it out but go drunk and just relax and don’t expect this movie to feel like the first three in the series. The unrated DVD will be the true version of this movie wait for it if you can. Bruce Willis is good and still believable playing an action hero . 6 out of 10 stars? Sounds about right. Please Sly save us 80′s babies with Rambo 4.

Category: Movies


5 Responses

  1. bergs says:

    Watching Live Free or Die Hard was like watching The Big Lebowski on a TV network: all the cool shit is cut out, and instead of making an effort to at least “cloak and dagger” some of the more obvious shit…they just lazily dubbed the voices and cut away from the violence. If someone buys the unrated dvd, I’ll probably view it out of curiosity for what could have been a stellar film.

    What I don’t understand, is how this movie is getting rave reviews. The action was top-notch, I’ll give it that. But what happened to being critical of a film for its horrifically visible mistakes? would go from cool action scene, to gutted dialogue that was re-recorded after the movie was shot. Do yourself a favor and watch season one, two, three, and five of 24 if you want a PG-13 action fix. Live Free and Ef Die Hard.

  2. bun says:

    at this point i literally only care about rambo 4.

    and possibly the payner footage.

  3. vanlandw says:

    i agree with vanbergs and rusty on both points

    the unrated DVD will end up being much better…and yes rambo 4 is going to kick total asshole

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