Ef You Treyarch...

The Detroit Lions

I cannot put into words how difficult being a Detroit Lions fan is.  Sadly out of frustration and exhaustion I’m going to give it a shot.

Today’s game was a truly awful.  With the Lions losing to the lowly Cardinals there honestly are times I question my devotion. Time after time a “typical lions” holding penalty by the offensive line (Backus) after a momentum gaining first down makes one say whats the use. After all the defeats I’ve endured my 26 years on this planet what brings a man to keep coming back for more punishment.  Some would classify myself as someone who could possibly be masochistic in a past life but I think this post requires some confession.

When I was younger I was a massive sports fan.  As I grew up so did my interest in completive sports.  Oddly enough my devotion for the Lions hasn’t changed.  I would say for at least 15 years somehow I’ve ended up to at least one Lions game a year and for about as far back as I can remember I’ve only missed one Thanksgiving Day game. There will never be a better player in my eyes then Barry Sanders.  I still have the Wayne Fontes Detroit Free Press headline packed away when he was fired the day after Christmas years back. Chris Spielman was the man. I hate the Redskins for obliterating the Lions and removing them from the playoffs one step away from the Super Bowl.  I hate Andre Ware, Bobby Ross, Marty Mornhingweg, Steve Mariucci, Rod Marinelli, Matt Millen, Mike Willams, Roy Williams (he makes me unhappy/cringe when the Lions get first downs), R.W. McQuarters, Charles Rodgers, Mike McMahon, Charlie Batch, Scott Mitchell, Joey Harrington and many many more players and personal I wish I could remember on short notice.

How could someone so jaded be such a life long fan?  Honestly what Lions fan ISN’T jaded?   In the 2000′s what have the fans have to cheer for other then the beautiful Ford Field?  How can the best thing about an organization be the building they play in? Seeing how the Pistons, Tigers, and Wings have all won why can’t the Lions?

Sadly I will root for this team every week till my last breath.  Watching the game this week with my friends was both joyous and trying. Personally I’ve gotten to the point where it’s almost more fun to watch them loose and make fun of them rather then cheer and watch them win one game here and there.

Category: Humor


19 Responses

  1. hellokittn says:

    Where’s your Lions jersey vanlandw?


  2. FLO says:

    from now on, you should wear that Barry jersey every sunday the lions play. every sunday untill they have a winning season. don’t wash it. don’t put it on a hanger. when the game is over, take it off and throw it on the floor until the next game. repeat.

  3. vanlandw says:

    How about you tell ME where my Lions jersey is hellokittn? :-P


    Also I’m getting to the point where I may wear my Barry jersey every day until they win the super bowl.

  4. hellokittn says:

    It’s where FLO projected it to be. On the kitchen floor in front of the pantry (how in the sane eff’s did it get THERE?!?!?)

  5. vanberge says:

    this is the best post ever.
    However, i am going to fill in the things/people you forgot to mention that you hate.

    I hate Jeff Backus. I hate Kurt Anes. I hate David Kircus. I hate Eric(k?) Kramer. I hate the hole in the ground that used to be the silverdome. I hate William Clay Ford. I hate Chevy for that matter. I hate trucks. I hate Hank Williams. I hate Dan Dierdorf. I hate Honolulu Blue/Silver. I hate africa because real lions live there. I hate astro turf. I hate “Grid Iron Heroes “(http://detroitlions.com/document_display.cfm?cont_id=30360).

    I hate Michigan. I hate I-96. I hate every NFL referee. I hate the mayor of detroit. I hate maps that have detroit on them. I hate google earth for having detroit visible. I hate satellites that provide imagery of detroit. I hate the orbit that those satellites travel around. I hate every single thing in this world that takes part in the existence of the detroit lions.

    But, i will watch them every sunday. :-(

  6. vanberge says:

    “Over the period of Millen’s leadership as team CEO, the Detroit Lions own the NFL’s worst winning percentage.” – WIKIPEDIA

    Also, i hate dick jauron

  7. vanbergs says:

    All I have to say on this subject is…”Go Dolphins!”, followed by “Go Patriots!” a week later, then “Go Vikings!”, “Go Packers!”, “Go Bears!”, and “Go Cowboys!”

    Vanberge, you forgot to say how much you hate both payner and eminem. brb

  8. Kramer says:

    Being a Lions fan is like being in an abusive relationship. No matter how much they beat your ass, you keep coming back for more.

    I hate the Lions. I want to become a Houston Texans fan. Because as much as the Texans suck, they’re still better than the Lions. But I can’t do it.

  9. vanlandw says:

    I should edit my post to include your “additions”. I agree with you on all of them.

    vanbergs you should just pick one team and root for them…and it should become the lions :-P

    kramer the texans blow…..i don’t even want to know what their mascot is…a fat cigar smoking asshole driving a mammoth truck? :-P

  10. bun says:

    africa. lmao.

    pick i tup

    hello gato >:-o

    i may buy a gray 2001 saab 93

  11. FLO says:

    don’t buy a saab…..i’v heard and read that they are absolutly shitty cars that will be in the shop……on the flip side to that…..my grandfather had one and drove it to about 400,000 miles. so do whatever you want to do…..buy a jetta….brb

  12. Kramer says:

    Russ, you need to buy a Renault or a Peugeot.

  13. FLO says:

    kramer, you are one witty s.o.b.

  14. vanlandw says:

    Russ should buy a Ford Excursion or a Chevy Surburban

    It would be so funny seeing rusty driving the largest cars on the road I really don’t know why yet….

  15. vanbergs says:

    Whatever Russ buys, I hope the gas tank catches on fire after he runs over a metal-coated prairie dog, causing a spark that ignites his fuel line. He will then slowly burn alive from the outside in, then his new vehicle will explode, sending baked french fries motherfucking everywhere. Woodland creatures would not eat them.

  16. Kramer says:

    Words cannot express how happy I was to see Joey come back to Detroit and light up his old team :-)

  17. vanbergs says:

    I agree with Kramer. I am so happy that Joey Harrington had his revenge against the Lions. FUCK the Lions and everything they stand for.

  18. vanlandw says:

    lol as much as i hate to agree with you guys Joey really did school the lions. He must be on cloud nine right about now.

    After this game if Millen and the Fords were at the stadium they NEED to see how into the game the croud was the first half and how bitter and angry thwy ere in the second.

    Detroit could be such a football down if the team was even close to being worth a damn….

    they have lost five of the last six thanksgiving day games with Millen….

    he needs to brb

  19. Kramer says:

    The only thing the Fords care about is the fact that people go to the game. Ford Field seats what, about 65,000 people? Until it gets to the point that the Lions are only drawing 15,000 or so, I really don’t think the Fords are going to care.

    How many people were still there at the end, five thousand? The place looked empty. If Ford Field looked like that at the start of hte game, they might take notice.

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